Do you feel anxious or nervous when you have to make a presentation, host a birthday party for your child? Or do you feel uneasy when you have to meet your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s parents for the first time? For many, such of situations make them jumpy, sometimes even panicky. They worry about what to say, what to talk about, and slowly but surely, they lose self-confidence in their ability to make small conversation.
There is a way around this. If you feel edgy in similar circumstances, I am about to share with you an unexpected wake up moment I had a few weeks ago. This moment, this realisation made a huge difference in my life. I now meet most situations head on, feeling confident and laid-back. I hold meetings comfortably and unperturbed, whereas in the past I would shake at the knees, feel dizzy, and the quivering sound in my voice made me even more nervous. But that’s all gone now.
My wake-up moment came when I noticed how most people with authority, or those who are very knowledgeable or are experts in their field tend to talk slowly, leaving longer gaps between one sentence and the other. Have you noticed that? Experts like Dr Joe Vitale, Dr Stephen Covey, and Jack Canfield, to name a few in the self-improvement field, talk at an intentionally slow pace, purposefully choosing their words and gaps in between the words.
When they talk slowly, at a leisurely pace, their message is more clearly understood by the listeners. But aside from that, talking slowly shows self-confidence, it portrays assurance in oneself. When you next watch the news or a documentary programme, listen to the anchor or the narrator. Pay attention to the speed at which they talk. And when they interview a prominent person, notice that the interviewee talks at a slow to moderate pace, carefully choosing the words, radiating self-confidence.
To me, talking slowly exhibits self-confidence, self-assurance and poise. When you’re confident you talk slowly because you are worth listening to; you feel relaxed in your surroundings, composed secure in your knowledge and ability. There is no need to rush through what you have to say. On the contrary. When you have to make a presentation, meet your partner’s parents for the first time, rehearse talking slowly. Decide on a pace that’s comfortable for you and go for it.
Have a shot at it. You may want to talk slowly at smaller, more familiar occasions and situations to start off with, then build on them, until sooner than you think you will be making a long speech in front of a large audience with total self-confidence, revealing the self-confident person that you already are. Or you may be totally comfortable and at ease when holding a birthday party or meeting your partner’s parents.
What a great way to build unlimited self-confidence and self-assurance in any area of your life. Talk slowly, gain momentum, and fire up your self-confidence. Be what you want to be and enjoy.
Hani Al-Qasem
Commissions Editor
Tags: confident, Self Confidence, social events, step out of your shyness
